The Habitual Game, Searching for True Love

So what is love? Couldn't have started my first hub with a more demanding theory on what the most powerful force in the world is all about. And to some, is just a simple chemical reaction your brain sends to your nerve endings telling itself it’s admired. Well, to me it’s a little more than that. I am 33 and really have only nipped the cusp of the true flavor of this wonderful ice cream. I can’t believe I just said that, but hey..It’s my hub so whatever.

I do not hold a PHD in psychology and don’t even know if I spelled that right, but one thing I do know is that special force that shapes people into better human beings. Or had Jack Nicholson once say "you make me want to be a better man." I really like the saying, because that is truly the start of it all.

Love in my eyes and heart is seeing and admiring the lost pieces of yourself in another human being while also being surrounded with a feeling of safety, softness, and a special bond to trust another, in order to relinquish vulnerability and help yourself become a better person.

Simply put, but next to impossible to pull off in this time and age. With cosmetics, text messaging, airbrushed magazine covers and good old fashioned competition mentality on who has to be the hottest and coolest cat out there, it’s hard to get a beat on who a person really is by the time you get through the cooperate brainwashing. It’s sad to people who really want a genuine soul to work with. But yet it is obtainable. Problem is that we always systematically destroy ourselves before we even have a chance. I don’t know how many times I've heard someone complain that they can't find the love of their life and then go out with their friends to the club or bar hoping that there will be that ever impressive diamond in the rough. Then after a wonderful night of dancing, drinking and maybe some irresponsible passion, think "this one" might be the missing piece of their life...soon to be crushed through infidelity and or rejection.

Gotta be real here, club and barland is the grown up TV/Magazine version of make believe we are conditioned to think in order to sell drinks, dresses, shoes, cosmetics,and other ridiculous consumables we don’t need, to find another person and hopefully stumble onto some kind of love. Its just make believe guys. It may be fun to play pretend, but when we were all kids our first admirers weren’t attracted to our Versace bags or Armani suits, it was us. We didn’t have any real money, expensive cars or impressive connects. It was just someone seeing us as we really were before advertising made us all feel inadequate about ourselves, and molded us into better sheep. Steering us away from where we were supposed to go.

Blah Blah Blah right, well you’re not ready then. But if I made even a piece of sense then take my advice. Lose yourself. Even just for a week. Instead of dolling yourself up for the nightlife try slumming at a Grocery store, or just go to a place where you can try to find the person inside yourself that got left behind so many years ago. Look at the world through your kid eyes for a while and see how much more beautiful it is, hopefully you still have them.

I give you this advice today because that’s how it started for me, I had spend a lot of time in that whirlwind of buying needless things to promote my weakened state of self-worth. I needed to be so called "cool" to get my acceptance from all the others like me on the weekends. Then one day I found myself accidently slumming at a neighborhood gas station. Little did I know that the little cutie working at the counter was to be my True Love. It’s spooky how things work out, at my self felt strongest I was the weakest person I ever could have been.

I don’t know if she saw that in me or if it was all my commercial flare I bought to make myself look more interesting, but it got me a date with an angel. I didn’t know it at first, even after she made me smile, or when I called her the first time, It was the night of our first date when she walked up to me and gave me a big white flower. I saw the little girl in her and she made me feel the little boy in me. Together it’s been full of challenges, compromise and life changes, and finally after our first baby, I can finally say "I’m a better man."

So here’s the checklist-

1. Lose yourself- Break away from what people have made you believe the quest for love is all about. Find your inner child and build yourself again.

2. Go Slumming- Forget the club and bar scene, you'd never find your younger self there. Go to where real people are, no pretenders.

That’s all for today....Got to keep it simple....Baby Steps right.....Good Luck!